i'm too impatient today
to read a whole email
and i'm learning things about myself
from what i'm skipping over
like how angry i feel
in general
and that i'm more interested
in what words you used
when talking to the grocery store
clerk
than in in-depth self realizations
or actualizations
or truths about the world
like
aggressive fish farming is going on
relatively uncontested
and by 2050
all the fish we know and eat
will be gone from the sea.
i felt sick while riding the bus
today
like 'i might vomit but probably
won't vomit
but i should still be prepared'
and so i emptied my backpack out
onto my lap
and felt nervous
that everyone could see its contents
like i was giving away information
that might somehow lead to
criminal action
being perpetrated against me
and while i was walking home
through the parking lot
behind the dog park
i thought about all the gloom &
doom
statistics
that mention the year 2050
and quickly calculated my age then
which will be 68
and i tried to think of people i know
who are 68 right now
to see what i might look or sound
like
but i don't know anyone who is 68
so i thought of harrison ford
who is like 66
and still doing all his own stunts
for bad steven spielberg movies
that i will download and watch
before going to bed
where i will lay awake
for roughly six extra minutes
due to a very powerful feeling
of generalized anger
which is probably responsible
for my violent imaginary actions
of punching a baby in the stomach
or kicking an old man's knee
as i pass by them on my way home
where i will check my email
and then lie down on my bed.