i don't want to write any more poems about ceilings

 

but they are such a big part of my life

 

i am staring at one right now, for example,

 

and have been for a while

 

i am thinking, "look at what you've done to me"

 

but i'm not really sure who i am addressing

 

i know this isn't the first poem i have started by saying

 

"i don't want to"

 

something something

 

this affects me in many ways

 

not the least of which is reckless usage of common phrases

 

that require no individual thought or effort

 

such as

 

"not the least of which"

 

i don't know what i am saying out loud right now

 

and whenever i can't sleep, like right now for example,

 

laying next to you

 

i stare at the ceiling

 

and think about if our relationship ended

 

what i would say to everyone i know

 

it is in such a state

 

that i've taken to being honest with you

 

about what i am thinking

 

when i stare at the ceiling

 

not sleeping

 

laying next to you

 

and i've taken to saying things like, "i've taken to"

 

because i cannot escape the need to use phrases that require little effort

 

i say them out loud

 

but i am not an opera singer

 

i can't apologize enough for that

 

or for my lack of quality formal attire

 

i know you aren't the clinical definition of crazy

 

but i think i'll tell everyone that you are

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[back to issue six]