Ho Chi Minh is a tiled room full of border guards and stamps, a cement-floored annex of short and slender stalls, a slowly filling bucket and rag. CAUTION, an ATM, $15 to crack bones, $4 fries. Japanese tourists will break bottles of ketchup and apologize, but not profusely.
Train stations, but not trains, are illegal in Kaohsiung. Most use miniature trampolines provided by Kaohsiung Transit Authority to propel them into moving cars. Parachute sales have skyrocketed. Imports from Siem Reap are highly sought-after collector's items – private collections are stored in liquid at room temperature and best viewed from a supine position.
Gion is a paper lantern woman with wood-paneled arms and orange, lacquered ribs. Her arms are slender, slide with splintery ease but only at eye level, into tea rooms. They would gesture to your men, if you had any.